- 1. Dads
Tim’s Dad sends Eric a gift basket wishing him luck on the new show. Tim retaliates by having his dad praise him on camera, however Eric exposes a lie. Leif and C-Boy square off in Ex-Treme hackey sack, Dr. Steve Brule reports on fruits and vegetables, Casey and his Brother perform "Time Travel" on The Uncle Muscles Hour, Tim and Eric revive the old "Waiting Room" sketch, a new Cinco toy B'owl is advertised, and Tim makes a call to pest control about his bees and his disappointing son.
- 2. Friends
Eric sends Tim an ornamental hot dog after finding out he is dying of "Limp Lip." However, their friendship is torn apart by lies of soon death followed by soon death. Dr. Steve Brule celebrates 10 years in broadcasting with a surprise, Cinco advertises their testicular insurance, Pierre teaches children how to dance and scolds them for allegedly possessing rotten meat (which he is an active advocate against), and Tim and Eric write a jingle for Rolos which they attempt to pitch.
- 3. Cats
Tim learns a new magic trick that runs him into some problems. This tears him and Eric's friendship apart. “Kid Break” shows children that it’s okay to sit down while they urinate, Tairy Greene teaches potential Gravy Robbers employees the best gravy robbing techniques, Tim draws free portraits on Hollywood Blvd., and Jaime Stevens returns home from his summer abroad with newfound powers in "Kitty Cat Man".
- 4. Sitcom
Also known as Salame. Eric made the episode himself, which causes Tim displeasure. Tim later loves the tape and they make up to each other with the help of David Liebe Hart's knowledge. Steve and Mike Mahanahan advertise their child-clowns and child-clown shoe rental services, David Liebe Hart and his puppet Jason sing about the Korendians and meeting in the light, Tim and Eric give a seminar on how to build a successful sitcom writing career, and Tim and Eric's assistant Simon presents them various numbered elderly ladies in Here She Comes.
- 5. Chunky
Carol's secret love for her insulting boss inspires her to lower her weight, but it ends in violence and secret love expressed through song. A new Cinco toy T'ird is advertised, Danny Mothers interviews Glen Tennis about his new film Crystal Shyps, Vernen performs ventriloquism with his potty-mouthed dummy Horsey, and Eric pulls a prank on Tim involving spiderwebs on the prank show Dumbellz.
- 6. Slop
Tim and Eric’s "replacements" host the show. The Beaver Boys attempt to pick up some ladies, go clubbing, and enjoy shrimp and white wine. David Liebe Hart returns with a new puppet and song about staying in school, Tragg shows his viewers how to make some of his famous slop on his cooking show, Kid Break returns with a rap about wearing Dad’s dirty socks, and surplus media distributor Ken Tulley advertises his series of Fitness Can Be E-Z tapes and throws in some huge deals.
- 7. Abstinence
Tim & Eric discuss their plan of replacing their crew with elderly men. However, they hate these old men and the inconvenience they cause. We get a glimpse of Pall Willeaux’s demonic nightmares as he appears in a Lazy Horse Mattress commercial, David Cross sings about abstinence to a locker-room porn star, Channel 5 provides live coverage of the No Sex Hot Dog Parade, Maria Bamford talks about skin care and her abusive mother, and Eric has some trouble with the computers at the Cinco Personal Banking Center.
- 8. Anniversary
50 years into the future the show celebrates its 50th anniversary hosted by Pat Dudley, but Tim and Eric haven't spoken to each other since an unfortunate stairway incident. Pierre teaches children how to meditate and asks for their dads' email address, Bob Odenkirk advertises an all-natural diarrhea inducer, Richard Dunn plays an improv game with himself in Dunn-Prove, and Cinco advertises their handy MIDI Organizer Filing System.
- 9. Hamburger
Tim and Eric are late in delivering the episode to Williams Street and must rely on Hamburger Taxi to get the tape there on time. Dr. Steve Brule educates the Married News Team with a special report on stomach and digestion problems, Tim makes a call to a music store about his "uke" that keeps falling on his computer. Two men get in a fight over a car crash and settle it with a dance-off using their miniature Tim and Eric dancers, and Michael Q. Schmidt debuts his new "Raise My Roof" dance to win the Uncle Muscles Grand Championship.
- 10. Missing
The Uncle Muscle's Hour is disrupted when Casey wanders off into the city. Eric talks about his collection of rascals on Nights with Tim Heidecker, which is interrupted by an Uncle Muscles Emergency Broadcast where Casey's Brother urges Casey to return to his Pep-Pep. Dr. Steve Brule delivers a report about modern fashion which results in tension between Jan and Wayne Skylar, and Cinco introduce the B'ougar which turns imaginary fears into real ones.
- 1. Vacation
Casey, his Pep-Pep, and Steve Mahanahan's fates are revealed. Eric returns from vacation with a video created by him and his new best friend Raz. This creates awkward jealousy from Tim, and he retaliates with his own new best friend and video. James Quall performs his celebrity impersonations, Bradley Michael Fahrtz advertises the Poop Tube, Magician Gregory hosts Trick My Trick, and Uncle Muscles introduces a clip from the Casey vault.
- 2. Dad's Off
Drama ensues when Eric has to compete for his children's respect against the coolness of the Heidecker family. They have a Dad's off which ends in integration. “Kid Break” returns with a rap about incestuous longings, the newest Cinco product Thocks combines the thong and the sock into one piece of clothing, Spagett attempts to spook and surprise people on his hidden camera show, and David Liebe Hart sings about his love for one of his puppets.
- 3. Dolls
Tim and Eric check out the new line of Tim and Eric dolls to promote the show, but there is something wrong with Tim's doll. This demonic doll causes trouble for a man and his lady friend. The show See My Goatee turns beards and stubble into goatees, Steve Brule introduces you to his new technique of self-defense, Palmer Scott sings a song about sitting on you, Tiny Hats advertises their line of miniature hats, and the Beaver Boys are rushed to the emergency room when the level of shrimp in their systems becomes dangerously high.
- 4. Coma
Jeff Goldblum advertises the miracle wonder drug Waitaminute that allows you to sleep through waiting periods. Eric takes WaitMate so he doesn't have to wait any longer for Tim's birthday, but when he overdoses and his memory is erased he requires the help of a rehabilitation expert named Zan to help him get to Tim's party. Cinco advertises their new life-like grandfather doll My New Pep-Pep, Ruth Carr sings a song about cheating on her husband, James Quall sings his song Beach Blast, and Ron Stark interviews Ron Stark for the program Stark on Stark.
- 5. Forest
While Tim is taking nature photos he is attacked by Chippy's mother. Tim is rescued and rehabilitated from his attack by a mysterious man known only as The Snuggler, who snuggles people back to health. Dr. Steve Brule gives a report on his favorite video game but forgets the title of it, Uncle Muscles shows a classic clip from 1993 of Casey and his Brother, we're shown Greg's entry on the Video Match dating service, and The Snuggler mourns the loss of his furry friend Michael J.
- 6. Carol
Carol's boss taunts her and screens a private sexy video tape intended for his eyes only. He violates himself to the video and is seen by Carol, and they both realize their love for eachother is shared. Dr. Steve Brule gives hygiene advice, Cinco advertises their new edible toy product Candy Tails including a tie-in cartoon, Glen Tennis peddles Crystal Shypps novelty items on Shopping Indoors and is provoked by his brother on a call-in, David Liebe Hart replaces Chip The Black Boy, and Eric wakes Tim up.
- 7. Robin
Eric gives Tim his own Robin Williams as a gift. However, it soon becomes uncontrollable and runs away right before their two man improv show. Dress to impress designs a man's weekend wear, The Cinco Library advertises their new Encyclopedia of Numbers (for men), Richard Dunn hosts his own talk show DUNNGEON with special guests Dave Navarro and Zwei Dunkel Jungen, and Tim and Eric hold auditions for their new film Demons.
- 8. Innernette
Tim and Eric advertise Cinco's new product "The Innernette", which packs all of the magic of the internet onto one tiny CD-ROM. Jeff Goldblum advertises the encore presentation of The Jeff GoldBluMan Group, Another Uncle Muscles Hour Classic is unearthed, A new method of making art using your housecat is advertised, Dr. Steve Brule gives a special report on tips for single life, David Liebe Hart gives a message on the ethics of the computer, and Pierre hosts the Channel 5 Dance Party.
- 9. Pepperoni
In the documentary Breadheads by T. Howard, two middle-aged mothers are obsessed with a children's singer. They camp out and wait for his arrival and beg to be his love slaves. The Mayor and Roy have a disagreement as Tom Peters watches, K.J Nutt hosts a hobby show about holes, Dr. Steve Brule gives health advice on the protein found in ants, Tim and Eric make a jingle for actor Tom Skerritt, and Kid's Break Teen Edition debuts.
- 10. Embarrassed
Eric shares a naked baby picture of Tim with the audience. Angry and humiliated, Tim later confronts Eric in a parking lot, which leads to a violent confrontation and, ultimately, Tim's death. Tim's funeral is held, but his dad is unable to attend and Eric's phone glitches and shares it's farewells in several languages. Pumpers and Tumblers share their abilities, Dr. Steve Brule reports on wine and becomes extremely intoxicated, and Cinco introduces the latest in digital umpires.
- 1. Resurrection
Tim is resurrected and gains the ability to materialize tiny tiger statues out of thin air. Eric cracks an idea to launch into business selling them, but it comes with consequences to Tim's newly restored health. Dr. Brule helps advertise and demonstrate a Panini press, another advertisement showcases penile cleansing products, and we're shown what afternoon television for women consists of on Channel 5.
- 2. Chan
A secret sexual romance arises over Abbey Brooks which ends in murder and teleportation. 100 years of Jackie chan is celebrated, and the hottest new board game (based on Jackie Chan) is played. A man with deep seeded childhood abuse hosts a quilting program, "Zits" is hosted by Tim Heidecker, and we're shown the late Steve Mahanahan's old tutorial that shows us how to get the most out of his child clowns.
- 3. Rascals
Tim kills Eric's Rascal and it leads them to conflict. Luckily, Bob Odenkirk, an expert in relationships, is there to help. Bob helps them come to a just and fair compromise which ends with grim outcomes. Tairy Greene hosts a seminar which teaches children to enhance their acting nasally, Cinco introduces a revolutionary phone, and we're shown to a childhood showcase.
- 4. Spagett
Tim makes it big when Steven Speilburg directs his adventure movie based on Spagett. This leads Eric to be treated as lesser until Tim's movie proves to be a flop. Dr. Brule gives tips for the upcoming prom, an american woman teaches foreign men biology lessons on male genitals with help from a musical video, the Cinco hatch your own eggs kit is demonstrated, and another video matching service entry centers around an asian man.
- 5. C.O.R.B.S.
Also known as Recumbent. Tim & Eric run out of ideas until "aboxa" balloons drop by that they have fun with. The C.O.R.B.S (Cops on Recumbent Bikes) attempt to stop a group of terrorists trying to take over a sugar factory, which ends in a terrible tragedy. Dr. Brule gives tips on technology by showing us his very own viral video, we're introduced to the Cinco Eye Tanning System, how to hug appropriately in a workplace, and a filmed family dealing with divorce.
The entirety of the episode is in a universe seemingly alternate to Tim & Eric and their humor. An MTV stylized series Jim and Derrick (which mirrors Tim & Eric) self described as "lol, random" feature several segments. The show ends with the ultimate chug off brought to you by Energy Fuel sports drink (which ends in catastrophe). A viral Video is shown (which mirrors David Liebe Hart) and the company "Stinko" ( a mirror of Cinco) introduce the G.F. Spooner hands free spooning device.
- 7. Jazz
Tim and Eric lead their jazz band through jazz chatter scats, The Beaver Boys visit a restaurant with twins and come into contact with some shrimp and white wine, two gentlemen they meal crash are shown making small talk previously, Maria Bamford shows us how to clean up after our cats with help from her ex husband, and Bill Hader stars as James Quall with David Liebe Hart starring as himself in critically acclaimed film "Quall : The James Quall Story".
Tim and Eric host a live telethon effort to benefit Richard Dunn and his critical need of bones. Viewers are urged to call in and send them their own bones or leftover animal bones, which can be turned into usable human bones. Dr. Steve Brule promotes the telethon and live musical acts are performed by Casey and His Brother, David Liebe Hart, and Jan and Wayne Skylar. The live acts are actually clips from Tim & Eric's 2008 tour "Muscles for Bones".
- 9. Larry
Mr. Henderson and Carol's relationship blossoms and becomes open in the workplace. Larry is led to violent and sociopathic lengths when Mr. Henderson blows off their planned fishing trip in favor of Carol. Another late night interview program centered around gross bodily functions "Burps" is hosted by Tim Heidecker, another Channel 5 Child Showcase is presented, and Tairy Greene hosts another Child Acting Seminar.
- 10. Brownies
Tim's mother sends Tim and Eric homemade brownies, and after eating too many they enter a shared dream state. In this dream they behold the Brownie Mountain, leading them into wishing they never wake up. This backfires once the entire mountain is eaten and they're stuck forever. Brule explains stomach doubling, Lindsay Porch sings of his stalker romance through karaoke, Richard Dunn hosts ShotDunn, and the Cinco Facts machine is advertised. Later, the entire Tim & Eric universe collapses in a cosmic explosion of familiar characters and brownies.
- 1. Snow
In a sitcom lampoon, Tim and Eric get snowed in with Richard Dunn and David Liebe Hart. After some light reminiscing, they decide to host a wild Snow Party with exhausting consequences. Cinco advertises the sleep inducing/bowel irritating fruit "Napple", Tairy Greene forcefully renames one of his child seminar students, and Diah Riha-Jones promotes plastic pant linings that allow you to "Squirt on the go".
- 2. Balls
Eric enhances his pizazz levels by getting a third testicle, but problems soon arise and the testicle herniates. After a surgery attempt by Tim, they attend a last resort Lamaze class. Cinco attempts to advertise a urinal showering system, Whoopsie Goldberg is the victim of an intrusive whacky camera show, A father sings to his daughter about a new change in the household, and we get to play "Pick the Nipple".
- 3. Universe
Two scientific experts analyze the concepts and contents of space using various metaphors. Tim and Eric enter into a continuous mudslinging advertisement assault, more of Richard Dunn's talk show "Getting it Dunn" with a controversial guest, Pierre uses youth cheerleaders to launch a food safety PSA, celebrity impersonators desperately fight for money on a game show, and the Afternoon Review graces us with belly dancing and throat singing by men (for women).
- 4. Road Trip
Eric tags along with Tim on a road trip, where they must discretely use his parent's hotel room for the ultimate vacation party. David Liebe Hart and James Quall star in the latest Channel 5 movie "Back to Squall", a mourning mother copes with the "Cinco Boy", 3 middle aged men in a computer keyboard band perform "Minivan Highway", Druwing gives drawing lessons using photo editing and his dead relative, and Brule gives a tip on tooth brushing techniques.
- 5. Tommy
Cult film director of "The Room" Tommy Wiseau is brought in to guest direct. Directing the episode leads to directing his next movie by stealing Tim and Eric's idea. Tim and Eric perform an edit-heavy jingle video about the word "Pork(ing)", Richard Dunn and other series regulars perform a song about the things they each like, the Cinco product Mancierge provides stress and strain for it's single employee, and Afternoon Review features some guitar.
- 6. Origins
We go back to 1997. We're shown the events of Tim and Eric meeting and subsequently launching the website that led them to success. We also see their unknown purpose struggle and e-tragedies. Dr. Steve Brule gives a report on eggs and later demonstrates an emotion reading machine with Jan, The decorative facial hair imitation jewel kit from Cinco is advertised, A pregnant woman tries out several men to see if they make her fetuses dance, and a man suffers from a daytime nightmare.